Hey...to all my pre, peri, post or full blown menopausal sisters.

Welcome to the blog that can help you feel more confidant that you're not losing your mind.

First, I want everyone to understand, I am not a doctor, and my blog is in no way meant to be considered a diagnosis or medical advice.

Everything I talk about is my personal experience or opinion.

So, lets dive into the wonderful world of menopause.

About six years ago my period started changing. Some months it would be so heavy I could barely move, other months it wouldn't come at all.

When I say heavy, I mean I kept a stash of pads and a change of clothes in my car, my office, a bag I started carrying with me for that purpose and my purse. I couldn't get through a whole night without having to get up and change.

Sometimes it would even be a shower in the middle of the night because otherwise both me and my bed would look like a crime scene by morning.

This went on for a couple of years. I complained to my doctor, my aunts, my friends and anyone who would listen (yes, I was THAT person), because I was so frustrated. It was starting to have an effect on my day to day life.

I never knew exactly when it would start, how long it would last or how heavy it would be. I felt like I was walking around with a bomb inside of me that could go off at any time. I was having hot flashes at the worst possible times with no way to control them, and I was CRANKY.

Things that would not normally bother me started to get on my nerves, everything and everyone got on my nerves, and my patience was very

thin on a good day.

I started to wonder if this was really menopause or if I was having some sort of mental breakdown.

Thankfully my doctor has a sense of humor, because I emailed him (that's how we communicate most of the time), and told him he had better do something to help me. I didn't care if it was a hysterectomy, medication or whatever, just make this stop.

I then went on to tell him that I had joined an underwear subscription service because I had gone through so many pairs that I was getting low and didn't want to keep going to the store to buy more. So once a month I would receive a few more pairs in the mail.

He sent me for bloodwork and told me I was in the beginning stages of menopause. OMG!!!!

This is the beginning? I was terrified at the the thoughts of what was coming next. I had images of a ranting, raging lunatic in the middle of Walmart with a bag full of underwear, screaming about how goddamn hot it was in the store.

Thankfully it never got to that, but the periods got to the point that what came out looked like "dead birds", I know how disgusting that sounds, but it is a very accurate description. My aunt confirmed that she had gone through all of this and honestly, it kept me from heading to the emergency room thinking I had some rare, horrifying disease. She also said I would have a couple of months like that and it would just stop. That would be the end of my periods. Thankfully, she was right.

I still have the occasional hot flash, but my doctor gave me medication that keeps them settled down for the most part, I haven't has a period for a few years now, and I am considered to be in full menopause now.

You would think that would be the end of it right? I would finally be like the commercials where the women are in their 50's and 60's, glowing and living their best lives. Nope, not me. Now, if I eat a piece of lettuce I gain a pound, I don't really sleep well anymore, my brain is foggy, my memory has wandered off and some days I wake up feeling like my body is full of wet sand.

These things don't happen to me every day, and not usually all at the same time, but they do happen. I really do feel better than I did when my period was so crazy and unpredictable, these are the things I deal with as they come along. I can take a few minutes in the morning to just sit quietly and let my mind and body wake up and get focused, I write things down so I don't forget them, and I take time for myself.

Everyone is always in a rush. Sometimes you just need to step back, take a deep breath and know that you got this.

It's ok to think that adulting sucks sometimes, because it really does.

My take away from this experience, deal with the symptoms as they come up. Be kind to yourself, this is a part of life that women go through. If you're not dealing with it well, talk to your doctor. It's ok not to be ok, as long as you know you're headed in the direction to be better.

If you need to chat, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Take care of you for you.