Things That Make You Go Hmmmm…
Not every 911 call is tragic or dire. Every now and then, one comes along that makes you laugh—or at least shake your head. This is one of those calls.
I was working a day shift, about 3 p.m., when the phone rang. Like always, I answered with the same question: “Do you need police, fire, or ambulance?”
On the other end was a man screaming in another language, throwing in bits of English here and there. He was yelling a lot, but nothing made sense.
My first thought was that someone was breaking into his home, so I treated it as an “unknown problem” and dispatched everyone—police, fire, and ambulance—at top speed.
Not long after, the sergeant radioed back to say fire and ambulance weren’t needed. The police had it under control. Usually as a dispatcher you don’t find out what happened once officers clear the scene—you’re already moving on to the next call. But this time my curiosity got the best of me, so I followed up.
It turned out to be a neighbor dispute. Two elderly gentlemen—neighbors for years—had gotten into a heated argument over politics in a country neither of them even lived in. Somehow, that disagreement escalated into one of them digging up all the flowers in his neighbor’s yard and transplanting them into his own. The police sorted it out, and the flowers were returned.
The next day, I was back on dayshift. Around the same time, another 911 call came in—from the very same street. The voice on the line was another man, again yelling in a language I later learned was Italian.
Given the address and the yelling, I suspected it was the same feud flaring up again. But protocol is protocol: never assume, always send help. So once again, I dispatched a full response to an “unknown problem.” And this time, I made sure to follow up.
Turns out, the man whose flowers had been dug up the day before had decided to get even. He hooked a tow rope to the shrubs in his neighbor’s yard and started pulling them out with his truck.
Both of these men were in their 80s—too old to settle things with fists, so they chose landscaping warfare instead.
I never did hear if they patched things up, but one thing’s for sure: I don’t think either of them ever called 911 again.
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